I imagine this happens with all parents but there are times when I wonder if my own opinions are pushing my children in one direction or another. I wonder if I am projecting my own likes and dislikes onto them. In this particular case, I wonder if my musical taste and tendencies are pushing my daughter in the direction of what I like rather than what she likes.
Then I see her at an event like Punk Island this past Sunday and I know, it's not just me. This is her thing as much as it is mine.
Caelyn was dressed Sunday in her punk rock best. Well, the best that we will allow her to have at the moment. Dyed blood red hair, Ramones t-shirt, blue jean shorts and mis-matched pink and purple Chucks. Tattoos and piercings will have to wait until she is older. =-)
What is so interesting to me about all this is she is not playing dress up. As one friend remarked, this is who she is. I wasn't some excited dad trying to relive his youth though I was excited and had a great time. I was a father allowing his daughter to be who she was and flourish in her element. And a festival loaded with a bunch of punks was just that, her element.
Caelyn was completely comfortable being surrounded by people with multi-colored hair, giant mohawks, and tons of piercings and tattoos. She got excited and pointed out each Ramones shirt or pair of Chucks she saw. She loved the music and demanded to be either right in front or on my shoulders so she could see. She was also thrilled by the mosh pits. She only wished she could join in.
We met one of the bands, The Furiousity, while waiting for the ferry. Caelyn was shy for about 2 seconds and then joined right in. They were great to us and especially to her. They not only gave her some stuff to keep but made her a part of their group. For a while she was in charge of their mascot. Their singer came over to her a couple of times during their set and whenever we would run into them throughout the day, they made a point of waving Caelyn over and talking to her. Caelyn loved every minute of it.
As a parent, nothing makes me feel happier than seeing my child happy. And when that happiness comes due to the kindness of others, I feel particularly fond of them. So while they probably will never read this, I can't thank The Furiousity enough.
In addition to the music, people everywhere were making a fuss over Caelyn. Particularly the girls and women at the show. Punk is a pretty male dominated scene and Caelyn had many girls of all ages come over to say hi and they liked her hair or her shirt or her shoes.
We were approached by the drum instructor for Willie Mae Rock Camp for Girls in Brooklyn to tell us about their program for when she gets older. Caelyn also had a lot of cameras pointed her way throughout the day including one posed shot of the two of us together.
I don't know what exactly it was that did it, but Caelyn had some of the toughest looking punks fawning over her. And not one person looked at her or treated her like she didn't belong.
When the day was over and the last band had finished, we made our way to the pier to catch the Brooklyn ferry. Waiting on line for the boat to come, she met another little girl slightly older than her.
This girl was with her parents and they were simply there to explore Governors Island. It took the two girls (Caelyn in her punk outfit and the other in her pretty summer dress) just a few minutes to become fast friends. They spent the wait time playing in the dirt, walked hand in hand to the ferry and had to stay together through the trip back. When it was time to go our separate ways, there were big hugs.
We spent the ride home listening to the Cd's Caelyn had gotten while she tried to convince me her hair should stay red for school the next day. It was fine with me but she had been in the sun all day and was covered in sunscreen so a shower was a necessity and the dye was wash out. Fortunately for her, Johnson's Baby Shampoo' didn't do such a great job on the red so she was able to keep it for school on Monday.
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